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I’ve lived in California for over half my life nie, but I’m having to move again, soon. I’m originally from Upstate New York in a small village called, Holland Patent. I’m looking forward to Maine again, I have Trueblood Family relatives there and my Partner Katie Camplin, has to go back to work at The United Way of Greater Portland Maine. Dear Mr. President Trump, First Lady Melania, and Trump Family, I would like to invitier You personally to our Wedding Celebration. I’m not sure when this will be, but I’d love to Rent out The Adirondack Railroad Wine Train for this. Of course, my favorite Governors will attend, such as Governor Andrew Cuomo of The Great State of New York, Governor Paul LaPage, of The Great State of Maine, and my cuttent Governor, Governor Jerry Brown, of The Great State of California!
I thinking about a large List of dignitaries and World Leaders attending also. I have worked with The Secret Service before with The Obama’s, both The Former First Lady and Former President Obama Knie me. I hope everyone could hop off and on The Wine Train. I Hope my Marital Union Partner, Katie Camplin, agrees to this! I think, we could have a great time.
A couple years ago, I heard my dad’s voice again. It was odd and totally unexpected. I was living at a homeless shelter, when I heard both my parent’s voices. Those have been bad times for me and it made me feel emotional, to hear their voices again, audibly.
The weird thing is, that both of my parents have died. I thought I was hearing ghosts, until I saw an older man on a Netflix video and this man resembled my dad. I thought, why now? After all these years without a dad, leave the sleeping dead alone. Hearing their voices did make me cry and I thought they’d be very worried about me.
So was that the idea? For me to feel like a loser again? I guess so? I’ve been told by my ex-husband and a once best friend, Dena Doyle, that I was a loser in life. I agree with them. If you hear that kind of talk enough, it’s believable.
So, I guess their point is, I shouldn’t exist. I frankly, don’t know why I’m here? They are right, I have really made many wrong decisions. I live with the pain and they do not. I don’t understand people rubbing salt, into fresh wounds?
It makes them all better folks than me. So they’re right and I’m always wrong, I guess? They made their point, they succeeded in hurting me. I don’t know, someone who hasn’t.
So it’s hard for people who know me to accept me, for who I am. I don’t know why I keep trying? But I do. I will probably die, in the act of trying. That’s my life, unfortunately.
I have more people not in my life, than in it. I don’t know why I exist? I have always asked the same question, of myself. I’ve almost died many times. I’ve come to realize that life can be over in a few seconds. Once that happened, anything can happen. It’s a weird life, that’s all I can say.
I was Walking in a busy and fairly large city when I saw a Black Male from an African country that scared me. His behavior was bizarre, like he was on PCP? Maybe insane? This was on Portland St. I had dejavu After that, because I was Followed once to a bus Station by a guy with no good intentions. You Even think of terrorism. It’s creepy in some areas of The City.
I have many fair weather friends from my past. There are family members of mine who don’t realize my value as a friend, mother, and patriot. They should be kind, but rather choose to be the opposite. It’s really too bad that folks don’t believe in me, because I believe in myself.
I’ve chosen to take the high road in life rather than, the road most often chosen. So many folks take the path of least resistance. They choose to lie, steal, cheat, and be dishonest toward everyone they meet in life. This is their behavior of choice, because they want to be popular, instead of being right or a good person. Money is usually involved, instead of love and being sincere with ones own feelings.
I am another philosopher in my Trueblood family of relatives. I come from a long line of spiritual folks who believe in peace and being forthright individuals. Some older seniors will know what I’m talking about, such as the actor Mr. Al Pacino. I met him once at a
Sam’s Club in Colorado. He’s not a large man in stature, but an honest, kind, and good man. I have met many celebrities in my day. They are truly successful and honest actors and actresses. Those folks are the lucky ones in life, because they have money, fame, and really good character. They aren’t playing characters or parts in life, they are justing being true to themselves and others.
I choose those noble individuals to be my new aquaintances over others who just want to be the center of attention anyday. They are stars and are comfortable in their own skin. I’m who I am too. Far from perfect, but always true blooded and always will be that way. I’m incredibly loyal, to a fault, but I am. I’m honest and loving and I’m a person that has a nickname called zeeb!
It sounds like I’m applying for work and I need a job. It’s too bad I’ve met a few bad apples in my life. There are always bad apples on the bottom of the barrel. I like the ones floating on top. The fresh, clean, healthy organic ones.