Lately, there are a lot of days that I’m not feeling my best. I still have day to day life to live, though. I have weird neurological symptoms that come and go. Sometimes, they occur on a daily basis for a few hours. Other times, they can last for a few days. What’s bothering me today, is black lines that seem to be spasmodically showing themselves in my right eye. It looks like a bleeping image like a camera flash going off. It’s usually my right eye that has all this difficulty. My neurologist knows about these weird occurrences. These symptoms have a mind of their own, but do happen more often when I’m stressed or tired. I just hope I don’t lose the sight in my right eye or left, for that matter.
With my nursing background, in a sense, I know too much. I try not to anticipate the worst, but try to understand and reason with my body. When the black image bothered me at work, at first, it looked like a black bug in front of my eye. Then I realized there wasn’t a bug at all. I was having some type of spasm event with the vessels in my eye. Muscle spasms are probably one of my usual occurrences anywhere they want to occur in my body. Bladder spasms are very tender and painful. My mom knew all too well what they felt like. She wore an indwelling foley catheter, due to her MS. I don’t have them nearly as often as she had them. The thing is, I can have weird symptoms, but I try to function fairly normally. My doctor follows my symptoms and would see me if he had to sooner, than my yearly appointment. I really dislike it, when I can’t find the right words to say, or they just come out wrong. It’s embarrassing and people think that I’ve been drinking. The truth is, that alcohol doesn’t mix well with muscle spasm medication that I already take.
My mom was permanently disabled. Sometimes I feel quasi-disabled. Some days, I have multiple spasms and I have zero energy in my body. During those times, it’s mind over matter. If Vitamin Water works that wonderful! I reach for food that will have a positive effect on my lack of energy. I remember even in high school, feeling like I needed an adrenaline shot to get me through the day. Much of my life has been a struggle with a lack of energy. My mom received Vitamin B12 injections for much of her ill life. I’ve realized that B vitamins are what I need to function during these low energy days. I’m improving my diet also to include a balance of protein with more fiber and fuel for energy. I love honey as a sweetener. My creative juices have been flowing and they enable me to create my own healthy recipes. I love to cook and create healthy and creative foods. Food is so important to me now, more that ever, for energy and healing.