Monthly Archives: June 2017
I’ve lived in California for over half my life nie, but I’m having to move again, soon. I’m originally from Upstate New York in a small village called, Holland Patent. I’m looking forward to Maine again, I have Trueblood Family relatives there and my Partner Katie Camplin, has to go back to work at The United Way of Greater Portland Maine. Dear Mr. President Trump, First Lady Melania, and Trump Family, I would like to invitier You personally to our Wedding Celebration. I’m not sure when this will be, but I’d love to Rent out The Adirondack Railroad Wine Train for this. Of course, my favorite Governors will attend, such as Governor Andrew Cuomo of The Great State of New York, Governor Paul LaPage, of The Great State of Maine, and my cuttent Governor, Governor Jerry Brown, of The Great State of California!
I thinking about a large List of dignitaries and World Leaders attending also. I have worked with The Secret Service before with The Obama’s, both The Former First Lady and Former President Obama Knie me. I hope everyone could hop off and on The Wine Train. I Hope my Marital Union Partner, Katie Camplin, agrees to this! I think, we could have a great time.
A couple years ago, I heard my dad’s voice again. It was odd and totally unexpected. I was living at a homeless shelter, when I heard both my parent’s voices. Those have been bad times for me and it made me feel emotional, to hear their voices again, audibly.
The weird thing is, that both of my parents have died. I thought I was hearing ghosts, until I saw an older man on a Netflix video and this man resembled my dad. I thought, why now? After all these years without a dad, leave the sleeping dead alone. Hearing their voices did make me cry and I thought they’d be very worried about me.
So was that the idea? For me to feel like a loser again? I guess so? I’ve been told by my ex-husband and a once best friend, Dena Doyle, that I was a loser in life. I agree with them. If you hear that kind of talk enough, it’s believable.
So, I guess their point is, I shouldn’t exist. I frankly, don’t know why I’m here? They are right, I have really made many wrong decisions. I live with the pain and they do not. I don’t understand people rubbing salt, into fresh wounds?
It makes them all better folks than me. So they’re right and I’m always wrong, I guess? They made their point, they succeeded in hurting me. I don’t know, someone who hasn’t.
So it’s hard for people who know me to accept me, for who I am. I don’t know why I keep trying? But I do. I will probably die, in the act of trying. That’s my life, unfortunately.
I have more people not in my life, than in it. I don’t know why I exist? I have always asked the same question, of myself. I’ve almost died many times. I’ve come to realize that life can be over in a few seconds. Once that happened, anything can happen. It’s a weird life, that’s all I can say.