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Monthly Archives: June 2011

Saying Goodbye

We received word last night that my former mother-in-law wasn’t doing very well in the hospital. When I heard the words low blood pressure, I knew her condition probably wasn’t going to improve. I went to sleep after midnight or rather, I tried to sleep, but found myself in a weird dream like state. My dream was one of the weirdest I have had. There were about 3 or 4 costumed large beings walking toward me in a row. They looked like Transformers characters. Suddenly my former mother-in-law came to me and placed her very cold hand on my back. I knew it was her and that she had just passed away. I felt very comforted and emotional about her coming to me to say goodbye. It’s a reassurance that I will never forget. She was kind and very generous in spirit. The cast of characters that I envisioned led her away to a knew life. A life that was free from pain and heartache. It gave me more thoughts about an afterlife.

I feel like I have grown up and made peace with my former mother-in-law. It has been very cathartic for me to record her recipes and relive the fun times that we had together. The painful times, I too, want to forget. She was a very helpful and a good woman and wife. I know she has been re-united with her other family members that preceded her in death. The one thing about death that is very intriguing to me, is the peace and freedom of the spirit. One’s spirit is light and carefree and moves so quickly from one location to another. The energy from the spirit is vibrant and unharnessed in its mobility and containment. It gives us hope, love, and security to carry on. One’s spirit is a life giver and a life saver. Spirit truly is a beautiful embodiment.

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Posted by on June 29, 2011 in death

 

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Silent Movies at Niles Theater

Last night, some of my family went to view silent movies at the Niles Theater for Bronco Billy Days, held every year. I have been a silent movie fan and television viewer since I was 2 years-old. I’m mesmerized by the action and acting on the screen. Last night, we saw a 1924 movie called, “Manhandled” starring Gloria Swanson. I always remembered Ms. Swanson from “Sunset Boulevard” as Norma Desmond with her classic line, “Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.” She was funny and skilled as a silent screen artist in the film “Manhandled.” Again, I was mesmerized by Ms. Swanson’s wonderful entertaining screen presence. All the attention was given to her for good reason. What an actress!!!

At the theater last night was 93 year-old, child silent film star, “Baby Peggy.” The still attractive and active silent comedy star’s real name is Diana Serra Cary. She has written at least 3 books about the silent screen Hollywood era and what it was like growing up during the 1920’s as a pioneer child star of great magnitude. On Sunday, the Niles Essanay Silent Film Theater will be playing Baby Peggy’s 1924 film, “The Family Secret.” I just have to see this film since I’m reading her book, “What Ever Happened to Baby Peggy, The Autobiography of Hollywood’s Pioneer Child Star.” Ms. Cary, will also be introducing the film to the movie goers at the theater. It is such a pleasure and treat to see a former child star actress that is still alive and well from the 1920’s. The Niles Silent Movie Theater has applied to be listed on the Register for National Historic Places. It needs to be voted for and preserved for all posterity.

I picked up up Cinecon newsletter at the Niles Theater last night. This is a classic film festival that takes place over Labor Day Weekend every year in Hollywood. I’m thinking about going for a day or so this year. Cinecon is the oldest and most notable of fan classic film festivals for showing rare and unusual films, having exciting celebrity guests, and offering some of the best movie memorabilia around. The classic movie screenings will be held at the restored 1922 Grauman’s Egyptian Movie Theater on Hollywood Boulevard. So, the next time you rent a movie, think about a classic one or better yet, a classic silent movie. You will be entertained. You will laugh out loud with joy and wonder at how magnificent these silent screen actors performed. It really was an art form.

 
 

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Not Up To Par

Lately, there are a lot of days that I’m not feeling my best. I still have day to day life to live, though. I have weird neurological symptoms that come and go. Sometimes, they occur on a daily basis for a few hours. Other times, they can last for a few days. What’s bothering me today, is black lines that seem to be spasmodically showing themselves in my right eye. It looks like a bleeping image like a camera flash going off. It’s usually my right eye that has all this difficulty. My neurologist knows about these weird occurrences. These symptoms have a mind of their own, but do happen more often when I’m stressed or tired. I just hope I don’t lose the sight in my right eye or left, for that matter.

With my nursing background, in a sense, I know too much. I try not to anticipate the worst, but try to understand and reason with my body. When the black image bothered me at work, at first, it looked like a black bug in front of my eye. Then I realized there wasn’t a bug at all. I was having some type of spasm event with the vessels in my eye. Muscle spasms are probably one of my usual occurrences anywhere they want to occur in my body. Bladder spasms are very tender and painful. My mom knew all too well what they felt like. She wore an indwelling foley catheter, due to her MS. I don’t have them nearly as often as she had them. The thing is, I can have weird symptoms, but I try to function fairly normally. My doctor follows my symptoms and would see me if he had to sooner, than my yearly appointment. I really dislike it, when I can’t find the right words to say, or they just come out wrong. It’s embarrassing and people think that I’ve been drinking. The truth is, that alcohol doesn’t mix well with muscle spasm medication that I already take.

My mom was permanently disabled. Sometimes I feel quasi-disabled. Some days, I have multiple spasms and I have zero energy in my body. During those times, it’s mind over matter. If Vitamin Water works that wonderful! I reach for food that will have a positive effect on my lack of energy. I remember even in high school, feeling like I needed an adrenaline shot to get me through the day. Much of my life has been a struggle with a lack of energy. My mom received Vitamin B12 injections for much of her ill life. I’ve realized that B vitamins are what I need to function during these low energy days. I’m improving my diet also to include a balance of protein with more fiber and fuel for energy. I love honey as a sweetener. My creative juices have been flowing and they enable me to create my own healthy recipes. I love to cook and create healthy and creative foods. Food is so important to me now, more that ever, for energy and healing.

 
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Posted by on June 22, 2011 in creative foods

 

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Posted by on June 10, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

The to do File

It was a catch up day for me today. Catching up with all the mundane jobs that I put off, until they have to be done. One is closet cleaning. This for me, probably happens twice a year. I open up my clothes closet everyday to select my wardrobe, but don’t want to go near it, to organize it and recycle its contents. It takes hours to do this and active thinking. Although, I had these feelings about this job, it was worthwhile doing it!

What I found was fruitful and relieving. For all of the winter months, I had been looking for my favorite green and white sweater. I knew it still existed, but didn’t know where it had disappeared to. My closet was like a dank, dark, dungeon where my forsaken clothes were released to. I found a cotton plaid shirt that so reminded me of the shirt I just ordered from L.L.Bean, because I needed that shirt again. I guess you might say, a day later and a dollar short. Well, the old one looked old and the new one will be bright and crisp. I was thinking about the new substitute work year when I ordered it. I am looking forward to the new school year, now that this one is wrapping up.

From my closet, I recycled many magazine articles that I had saved and just didn’t find a need for them anymore. They were clutter without a purpose. A good thing to recycle. I so believe in recycling and reusing. My old paper will be used as ground up material in pet bedding and in reusable paper making. I felt good releasing my clutter. It felt like a natural purging. I even found a “Polar Express” music CD that I never opened from some Christmas’s ago. I might give it as a gift next year or open it and enjoy it for myself.

It also endeared me to find my oldest daughter’s baby shoes, my dad’s Navy years photo album, and my “American Idol” and sports cards album again. Uncovering the old is sentimental and heartfelt to me. My oldest daughter is 22 and working on her own art business. I’m a big sports fan and wanted to find my LeBron James Cavaliers basketball card again. I’ve been watching all the NBA Finals games and I still think LeBron and The Heat are great! Dallas is terrific too! It’s been a nail biting championship! Everytime, I find my dad’s photo albums I feel so close to him again. When I think of him, I miss him so much. I think it is my love for my relatives that have passed on that promotes paranormal activity that happens around myself and my family. We have heard unusual voices, seen movement of chairs, and have heard objects being dropped by no one. It’s a topic I feel very affected by and close to. More on this later.

 

 

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